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Bacon-Brownies-FailedFailed Bacon Smoothie
Rather unfortunately, not every bacon experiment leads to a revolution in the way we view food; some fall flat on their ars..bottoms. It may go without saying that I have conducted several failed experiments in the past, and since they didn't work as planned I didn't post them. To be honest, I'm the type of person who would rather hide away the evidence of a failed experiment - then proceed to bash myself in the head until I forgot about the whole ordeal myself - than admit to failure. That's all about to change, however, with this post, this admittance of utter failure; god, I'm hating this already.
The reason for my change of heart is simple. Firstly, I realised that by forgetting all about my failed experiments I can't learn from them. Second, I figured that the type of person to visit this blog is - in many cases - the type of person who is considering a similar experiment, so posting my failures could be of some value to them, too. Now, I've actually got two failures to admit to in this post, as you may have figured from the title and pic, which is also why I haven't posted anything for a while - it all went a bit wrong, I blame my stupid bacon-free holiday.
Edit: The pic also contains some of the worst photoshopping ever seen by man, but failed food deserves failed shopping. Couldn't stand seeing it - new pic layout sorted.

Bacon Brownies

First up are my bacon brownies - which weren't that much of a failure, really. In fact, they would have been absolutely delicious if it wasn't for one ingredient: the bacon. I made the mistake of adding the bacon to the actual batter, you see, and that was a huge mistake; there I was with some absolutely delicious proper crispy bacon and I ruin it by drowning it in liquid! I don't know what I was thinking, but I shall never do it again: adding proper crispy bacon to any form of liquid is hereby a mortal sin in the book of bacon. I will be making bacon brownies again in the near future, however, and next time I am going to sprinkle the bacon on top; and possibly not cook it (much or at all) beforehand - but I'll get back to that in another post, at some other time.

For your reference, here's the recipe:


  • 6 Rashers of Proper Crispy Bacon 
  • 200g of Dark Chocolate (70%-ish solids)
  • 80g Cocoa Powder
  • 350g Caster Sugar
  • 250g Butter
  • 4 Eggs
  • 70g Flour
  • 1tsp Baking Powder


1) Set your oven to 180c.

2) Break your chocolate up into a large glass (or other heatproof) bowl and add the butter, then place over simmering water (which shouldn't touch the bottom of the bowl, nor be boiling, to avoid burning the chocolate), and stir occasionally.

3) Meanwhile, grab a second bowl and mix together all your dry ingredients.

4) When the chocolate and butter has melted, mix it all together, then add in the dry ingredients and mix well. Finally, beat your eggs in a separate bowl and add them to the mixture along with the bacon.

5) Line a (25cm) baking tray with greaseproof paper and pour in the batter. Bake in the middle of the oven for between 20-30 minutes (different ovens have different cooking times); the brownies should look cooked on the outside and offer some resistance if you push down on them, but still be gooey in the middle.

Bacon Smoothie

Right, failure number 2! I've always been intrigued by the concept of turning something savoury into a smoothie or milkshake, so I figured I've have a go at making a bacon smoothie. Since I'm far from a smoothie expert I decided to do a quick search on google to see if I could find a recipe for one, but rather surprisingly I only found one recipe - and it contained very little bacon (2 "strips") and a whole lot of other crap (and I do mean crap, I mean, who has "greens" (a dietary supplement, apparently) and acai at home?). With no recipe to go by, I decided to go for a very basic first attempt consisting of yoghurt, milk, bacon, maple syrup, banana and a dash of Worcester sauce. 

The result was a fine looking smoothie with a near-perfect consistency; but my god was it bacony! The bacon flavour was too intense even for me, which I suspect had to do with the fact that I was drinking it (a rather odd experience, let me tell you). While I don't like to admit defeat, I think I will put bacon smoothies well and truly to the side for now, and crack on with some other experiments instead - I just don't see how I can make it taste good. That doesn't mean that I've given up on bacon flavoured drinks, however! Next on the list of drinkables is a bacon milkshake - which I think will be a lot better. I still haven't decided how to go about it, but it will either be chocolate based (chocolate and bacon go insanely well together) or maple/pecan based. 

If you think you're more of a bacon nut than me and would like to try the drink that bested Mr Bacon himself, here's the recipe..


  • 6 Rashers of Proper Crispy Bacon (1 is for decoration)
  • 1 Large Banana, chopped up
  • 200ml of Milk (I used semi skimmed)
  • 5-6tbsp of Yoghurt (I used fat free, in a pathetic attempt to make this drink "healthy")
  • 8 Dashes/Drops of Worcester sauce
  • 2 Good tablespoons of Maple Syrup


1) Put your bacon in your blender and blitz it into a powder.

2) Add the remaining ingredients, and blitz again - you'll know when it's done.

3) Serve! 

Note: If you end up with small bits of bacon floating about - run it through a siv. Because I'm really impatient I did end up with a few bacon bits floating around, and getting rid of them did improve the drink somewhat.



So there we have it - my two most recent failures.

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0 #2 Mr.Bacon 2011-08-15 10:36
Quoting Amy:
I didn't think those brownies were a failure! However, I can see the desire for crispier bacon. I look forward to trying those. One jar of carrot chutney coming your way weds anyway.

Thanks! Yeah I wasn't displeased with the brownies themselves - Jamie Oliver knows his stuff, hehe - but the chewiness of the bacon annoyed me. Awesome, love chutney. :)
+1 #1 Amy 2011-08-14 20:40
I didn't think those brownies were a failure! However, I can see the desire for crispier bacon. I look forward to trying those. One jar of carrot chutney coming your way weds anyway.

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